Mary O’Brien never imagined herself in the spotlight – let alone as a recipient of one of the country’s highest civilian honours. 

But this month, at age 92, the lifelong advocate, nurse, veteran, and community stalwart was awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia (OAM) in the King’s Birthday Honours.

Speaking from her home in Ballina, Mary admits she was caught off guard by the news.

 “I thought my daughter was joking when she told me,” she laughs. “It was a real shock – but a lovely one.”

Mary has called her Federation-era home Tahara -named after her father’s birthplace in rural Victoria -for more than five decades. 

Over the years, it has served not only as her sanctuary but also as the base for her tireless community advocacy, particularly in support of refugees and asylum seekers.

Though modest about her achievements, those who know Mary understand just how deeply her life has been shaped by service, resilience, and faith.

Early Responsibility and Military Service

Born in 1932 and raised outside Ballarat during the Great Depression, Mary experienced hardship from an early age.

Her father worked as a miner before joining the Army during World War II, staying behind to care for her brother, who had a disability.

Mary left school at just 14 to take a job as a kitchen hand at a Catholic hospital.

A minor act of mischief involving a nun’s carving knife unexpectedly launched her into nursing – an act that would set the course for her life.

“I stuck her best carving knife into the split in the wooden kitchen table,” Mary chuckles.

“She was furious, and I was marched off to the wards. Another nun took me in and taught me to nurse. That’s how it all began.”

At 18, Mary enlisted in the Australian Army as a nurse, inspired by the dedication of wartime nurses and soldiers.

“My heroes were soldiers and nurses,” she says.

“I always thought the Army was where I should be.”

She served at Puckapunyal in Victoria and later in post-war Japan with the British Commonwealth Occupation Force, working in Tokyo and near Hiroshima.  Her service abroad left a lasting impression.

Mary’s military career came to an abrupt end in 1956 when she was introduced by a friend to her future husband Jack O’Brien, a fellow service member.

As was standard at the time, women were required to resign from the military upon marriage. 

“It was just the way it was,” she says.

“If you got married, you had to leave. You were expected to go off and have babies.”

That part didn’t come easily.

“We weren’t able to have children naturally,” she says.

“But we adopted two beautiful daughters, Pauline and Jane.”

They eventually moved into small business, first running a newsagency in Victoria’s Dandenong Ranges, before seeking warmer weather in New South Wales.

After a stint in Byron Bay, they discovered their forever home in Ballina following a chance New Year’s Eve visit.

Community Roots and a Commitment to Refugees

Since settling in Ballina in 1972, Mary has become a fixture in the local community.

With Jack by her side, the couple continued in business together and opened their home and garden to raise funds for various causes. 

Her advocacy deepened after co-founding Ballina Region for Refugees, an organisation committed to supporting displaced people seeking safety and opportunity in Australia.

Mary’s Christian faith, instilled in her from childhood, has been a steady force throughout her life and service. It underpins her belief in welcoming the stranger and caring for those in need.

“We weren’t wealthy growing up, but we were taught that if someone needed help, you helped,” she says.

Her home still carries quiet symbols of her convictions -like the small sign on her door that reads, “Children do not belong in detention.”

Over the years, she has hosted dozens of fundraisers, supported advocacy campaigns, and offered guidance and comfort to those in need. 

Jack, who passed away several years ago, was her steadfast partner in all of this.

Mary insists that the OAM belongs to him just as much as to her.

“We did everything together. He would have shared this honour, no question.”

A Lasting Legacy

Mary was previously recognised as Ballina’s Citizen of the Year in 2015 and visited Government House as part of that honour.

Later this year, she will travel to Sydney to receive her OAM in person.

Though humbled by the recognition, she remains focused on what still needs to be done to make her community more just and compassionate.

Her days are quieter now, shared with her daughter Jane – who, like her mother, became a nurse and now helps care for her.

Mary remains mentally sharp and engaged, taking an active interest in current affairs, her local church parish, and the wellbeing of those around her.